There She Goes…

Today was “royal residences” day! First, we took an Uber to Schönbrunn Palace because the place was supposed to be amazing. Apparently we decided to do this when every other tourist in Vienna decided to go, so we had to get dropped off outside of the Palace and walk towards the entrance to make our 10:00-10:30a entrance window. We made it in the nick of time and the place was massive!

Now that I have a traveling partner, and someone who is obligated to take pictures of me because I ask nicely, I was able to get a decent photo of me in front of the fountain that was intentionally made to look like Roman ruins.

And because I already asked for a favor, I took this selfie that is more of a reflection shot and not very selfie-like. Selfies are for people without friends. Hint: I’m waving in the mirror with a hat on.

After Schönbrunn, we hopped in an Uber and went to Belvedere Palace. Danielle really wanted to see Klimt’s The Kiss and I kind of did too. After that, we were all museumed-out, so we walked to Naschmarkt which is an outdoor market that has all kinds of vendors. We found a lovely Greek vendor who offered us an antipasto platter that included prosciutto, olives, olives stuffed with cheese, olives with pits, olives stuffed with almonds, and two kinds of cheeses. Oh and wine. He offered me (aka “California”) and Danielle (aka “New York”) some white wine. He had no menu. He was the menu.

I picked up an olive stuffed with something and put it into my mouth. With fear of a broken tooth looming, I wrestled whatever “it” was out of my mouth and accidentally dropped it down my shirt. Danielle saw and started laughing at me. “Did that get stuck in your bra?” Me: “No! It went down to my stomach.” D [still laughing]: “I can’t take you anywhere. First you put deodorant on in public. Now this.” Well, it’s pretty damn hot outside and I’d rather someone cringe that I’m masking my sweat than have to deal with the smell of said sweat. Plus, it’s not like anyone knows me here…Some of these tourists could use some deodorant.

Clearly, Danielle and I should not be last minute planners ever. We’re no good at it. In fact, we suck at it. We wanted to listen to concert music, preferably Mozart, and attempted to buy tickets online for a performance at 8pm. There were no available options so we walked to the concert hall and were told that the only seats available were not actual seats but standing room tickets. For 15 euro and pure poor planning, we decided to buy those tickets. The standing part sucked. The people watching was priceless as I now have 4 concrete pieces of evidence that some tourists from one region are just terrible people.

• Exhibit A, The Shushee: The concert starts and the usher has to tell a man standing 2 people away from me that he mustn’t talk during the performance. The usher leaves and not 10 minutes later, The Shushee is back to talking. I look him square in the eye, and I shushed him. Usually I just stand there and think about how annoying the talking is and I never really say anything. The new me is different and she’d like to hear the 15 euros worth of music she paid for.
• Exhibit B, The Sneaky Photo Lady: At the beginning of the concert, an announcement is made is multiple languages: No photographs, no video, no talking, etc. The usher leaves her post (most likely to tell Shushee’s identical twin to stop talking) and Sneaky Photo Lady walks up twice to the no standing zone and takes either a photo or video. I couldn’t tell. She goes back to where she’s planted herself and decides that the first picture/video wasn’t really good so….she comes back to stand in the no standing zone and take yet another picture/video.
• Exhibit C, Rich Mommy: This one is probably the most egregious of the rude behavior. Rich Mommy has paid for 3 seats (with Rich Daddy’s money) that are placed behind and to the side of the musicians. They are so close that they can probably read the music. In the middle of a concert, Rich Mommy stands up with her son and starts nudging him towards the stage to stand closer so he can see better? I’m guessing here. I have no idea why she was nudging him forward when there wasn’t a seat for him and it was ultra distracting. She even had the audacity to talk to him while musicians were playing and while people paid good money to see a concert and not Rich Mommy try to get her son a better view.
• And finally, Exhibit D, Unbelievably Awkward: And the award for most awkward goes to this lady! She is standing at the front of the “standing tickets only” section, against a rail. She has had enough and starts to lower herself in a squatting position and then says “what the heck” and goes for a full on sit down. She is completely unaware that her movements have put her head directly in front of a really tall (and really cute) guy who awkwardly shuffles back from her. He helplessly looks around and I catch his eye. We share a silent laugh (I know how to behave at concerts) and I think about what our children would look like. As if that’s not awkward enough (her, not me), she removes her shoes and remains seated until intermission.

It would be unfair of me to call out the region where these tourists are from, but they are definitely fresh off the boat. And there are hoards of them.

At intermission, I looked at Danielle with that “I’ve had enough” look and we bolted. We heard some of Mozart’s famous pieces but the guy wrote 600 pieces so there’s no way we’d ever hear them all. We found a cute little cafe and had a nice light meal (plus more wine) to end the night. Tomorrow we’re packing in the last few remaining items in Vienna and then we’re headed on to a different country. It sure is nice to be traveling with someone else and someone that is easy to travel with. Until she gives me that “I’ve had enough” look that is.