I’ve had an uneasy feeling since arriving in Medellin. Maybe it was the terrible experience sitting next to large-arm-lady or the way everyone just acted like savages when the plane landed. Or maybe I’m getting sick and feeling pretty ragged at this point. I can only recall 2 other instances on this entire trip where I felt unsafe: being followed by a homeless guy in Toronto and the taxi driver who took a call during our ride in Slovakia (where I was convinced he was talking to an associate and arranging our kidnap). These things happen and when my intuition tells me to take a step back. I listen.
A driver (pre-arranged through the hotel) picks me up at the airport. He’s polite and speaks very fast. I ask him to slow down and we can understand each other. As we’re riding along, he tells me if we get stopped by the police (at a checkpoint), I’m to tell them my hotel is “Estelara” instead of the one I’m staying at “BH El Poblado.” I’m amazed (a) that I actually understand him and (b) shocked that this is the first time I’ve encountered this kind of scenario. I ask him if he’s still taking me to my hotel (BH) and he looks at me like I’ve just asked the world’s dumbest question. Sorry driver, I don’t know how this country operates or why you need ME to lie to policemen. As we approached a checkpoint, he reminds me forcefully, “Estelar! Estelar!” Got it dude. We aren’t stopped though and we continue on. I ask him how ever does he explain that to tourists who don’t speak Spanish since he spoke no English and his response: “google translate.” Now I definitely get it.
I arrive at the hotel too early for check-in but there’s a restaurant and they let me hang out there until my room is ready. I order a tuna sandwich and am paralyzed by the thought of what did I order – imagining a raw piece of tuna on a sandwich roll. Luckily for me, Colombia knows of tuna salad and my sandwich was quite decent. I didn’t feel like doing much after I got into my room because it started to rain and I realized I’m a pretty far walk (over 1 hour) to the city center or about 25 mins via metro (walking and riding). So I sat in my room and enjoyed the air conditioning.
The following morning, I walked about 15 minutes to the closest metro station and felt all kinds of eyes on me. I have read about men in South America but never really paid attention to it when traveling with someone else. But that day, I saw it all, unfortunately. I rode the metro to get to my walking tour and only got talked to by one weird-smiling guy on the train. I quickly squashed any dreams he had of us being together by uttering my favorite phrase when I don’t have time for you: “No hablo Espanol.” It’s something my Mom taught us when we visited Mexico once as kids and it’s handy in situations like these. However, I do now speak Spanish because I can understand a lot more and converse pretty clearly with Spanish speakers. Most people didn’t stare too long after I caught them looking.
I didn’t feel this anxious in Bogota but Medellin made me hyper aware of things going on. Even walking around with a tour guide, people were trying to sell you juice, water, fresh fruits, themselves. Seriously, some guy told our tour guide Milo that the guy needed a girlfriend. Milo suggested he learn the words himself in English. Haha. Lots of people were calling out things like “I love America” even though the entire group wasn’t all Americans or just saying “hi.” Milo said Colombians love tourism and that we shouldn’t be afraid to say “hi” back. The best part were people asking Milo how to say something in English – like free English lessons on the street. A young guy wanted to know how to say “40” in English to sell jeans. Here are a few pictures from our tour:
The food vendors are legit mini-kitchens. So many options but I rarely eat fresh fruit or juices from the street to avoid tummy issues. And look at the size of those avocados…isn’t that insane??
We strolled along some more and went to different plazas and squares. I liked Milo’s approach to giving us a tour. He introduced his tour as a Netflix series with different seasons and episodes and provided context. Additionally, he never mentioned “Pablo Escobar” by name, just “that famous criminal.” He’s part of the group that hates him. I don’t blame him.
Lots of Botero works around Medellin as well – he’s the guy who painted people out of proportion. These statues were pretty cool.
I don’t remember the name of this little plaza but I liked the old man just standing there among the chaos.
One of the crazier things Milo had to tell us about Medellin was this square next to a church. I don’t remember any other details besides the fact that it’s where “ladies who give love” hang out in BROAD DAYLIGHT and then the men have easy access to confess their sins because they’re next to a church. I’m amazed that this is a normal, everyday practice when you can clearly see who the “ladies” are in the middle of the day. He told us all not to look at once; I bet tour groups have on more than one occasion turned around to spot them!
Our last stop was another square and it was 4 hours after we started…so I don’t remember much except that in 1995 a bomb was placed underneath a statue in that square during a music festival and killed 20 people. The Colombian government was going to remove the decimated statue but the artist, Botero, told them they needed to remember the past so that it doesn’t happen again. So here’s that bombed out statue. Imagine being one of the unlucky ones who stood next to it? Oh, and this has also never happened on a tour before but Milo said we should not go back to that square on our own AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY. He said it was the most dangerous square in Medellin and I saw no cops hanging around there. He also said it was fine for us to be there as a large group but some of us were whispering “why the f&*k did he bring us here?”
When I got back to my hotel, I stayed in and ordered Ubereats because it’s super cheap here. I got something resembling Greek food but it was pretty good. And today, I didn’t feel like being ogled at on the metro so I chose a tourist attraction walking distance from my hotel. I still got ogled, some car horn honks and even a motorcyclist yelling something at me but I pretended to not notice. But I did. And I feel gross so I need a hot shower.
Today’s tourist attraction was El Castillo which is a replica of an old European castle that was built by a really rich family in the 20s. The gardens are nice and inside I was rushed upstairs to a tour in English that had already started so I missed a lot of the backstory. But that’s OK, I wasn’t really feeling this museum but didn’t want to spend all day in my hotel room even though I had food and snacks and AIR CONDITIONING. Also, my hotel room might be haunted. I smell a man’s cologne pretty heavily every time I enter. I haven’t felt any presence but the smell is lingering and definitely “holy cologney.”
Tomorrow is my trip to Cartagena – the last Colombian stop on this adventure. I’m looking forward to less fast-paced and hoping I have a different feeling about it than I do about being in Medellin.
There She Goes... 