Last night, we settled in early with another episode of Midnight Mass on Netflix – this time in Mexico, Mom and I were smart enough to plan ahead and download a few episodes on each ipad so we have shows to watch. I took it one step above and beyond (let’s face it, that’s usually how I roll) and brought an HDMI cord + adapter so we could project on a t.v. screen. As Dad always says “Amy has the coolest gadgets.” The plans for this morning were Mom’s alarm would go off at 6:30a [with explicit instructions for Dad to quietly go down to Starbucks and get 3 cafe lattes. I write “explicit” because yesterday morning Dad woke up and started making a lot of noise]. My alarm would be going off at 7am so we could get to the tour office by 8am for our land tour. In theory this was the perfect plan…in practice, Mom was a Frequent Alarm Snoozer so we all woke up at 6:30, then 6:38, then 6:45, etc, etc. You get the point. Is there a word like hangry but for those who want to sleep in more??! I’m reminded of my times spent staying in hostels where the Frequent Alarm Snoozer always seemed to be staying in my room too.
We show up at the Sea & Land Tours office and expect other people to be waiting for the San Javier Mission tour bus with us. I’m assuming this is off-season because we scored a TUR PRIVADA (or private tour) which is always a wonderful surprise wherever you are. I think our tour guide Nestor was relieved he could be less formal with the Gonzales Family – he, ironically, shares our last name but spells it the right way. Jajaja.
Nestor turned off the main highway onto an unmarked “road.” I’m not even sure you can call it a road but more of a desert lane. The entire tour is in Spanish because my Mom tells everyone I’m fluent. The nopal growing out of my forehead is probably a good indicator of my Mexican roots. Speaking of roots, the reason we turned off the highway was so we could see a tree with roots so strong that it split mountain rock.
Our second stop was a lookout point to see the town of Loreto. Somewhere down there is our hotel, La Misión.
We continued on our way, Nestor stopping for the random tarantula crossing the road or cow deciding whether we were worthy to pass or not. We arrived at San Javier Mission which was built in 1699. Translation: it’s old AF. It was built in the Moor-style from Spain and as someone who has traveled extensively in the Ultimate Motherland, it has those same, consistent features – the interior laid out in a cross, the vaulted cathedral ceilings, the arched doorways, etc.
I am obsessed with architecture and blue skies – they go together like peanut butter and jelly.
You’ve probably read all the way to the this point expecting a story about underwear (cochino! – Sorry Vanna, you’ll have to look up that word and might as well look up the word I learned today “salate”) jajajaja. Never one to disappoint my Readers, here you go..
As we’re driving up to the Mission, Nestor told us about a local legend: El pilon de Lolita. I didn’t understand any of the story he was telling us but I did pick up on the only word I knew: calzónes. Growing up not learning Spanish, you automatically pick up words here and there. My Spanish vocabulary was pretty innocent as a kid: calzónes, nopal, chanclas (those are what Grandma spanked your butt with), etc. But not wanting to interrupt the legend story, I nodded pretending I understood everything. It was only when I asked my free Translator #1 (Pops) that I understood everything.
The legend of Lolita (no relation to my dog Lola) is as follows: There was this really fat lady in town (Lolita), who told everyone she would climb to the top of the peak/pillar and no one believed her because she was so overweight. So she climbed to the top and to prove it was her, she left her underwear up there. I mean, good on her, I would do the same if people didn’t believe I could do something. I have always been the type to do the opposite of what people expect of me – probably why I’m not married at 39 years old. I wanna go leave my underwear on tops of mountains!
No one ever found “evidence” of Lolita being on the mountain top. And today, when I climbed onto the top of a dam with sandals on, I told everyone I left my underwear up there. Just like Lolita. She sounds pretty cool. And someone I’d probably want to share a cerveza with.
There She Goes... 