There She Goes…

Welp, the parental units are now battling Covid as well. And since my HIPAA rights were violated for well wishes, I’m asking for healing vibes from you dear Reader that both make a full recovery in whatever time their bodies need to heal. Both parents are boosted x 2 (4 doses total) & no sign of bacterial infection or pink eye; I can gladly say they have it a little better off than I did. It’s not a competition (otherwise I’d have DQ’d us all before it began) but more of a reminder that this strain is really, really contagious. Some of the most careful people I know have caught it and the stigma behind being sick isn’t as bad as it was when this all began – but it’s a reminder to keep up on your vax and when in doubt, wear a mask until you know. PSA done – just be a good human.

Last night was a total lunar eclipse on a blood moon! And this super astronomy nerd girl was going to see the lunar eclipse no matter what. So while we’re still taking it very easy and avoiding people/crowds and re-infections, Mom and I decided to sit on the beach and watch from a safe distance. No telescope required to see this majestic sight. And no speaker needed to hear some crazy woman yelling at the top of her lungs about some wrongs against her & promising never to come back to Mexico. She sounded drunk and we’re certain she was staying at the all-inclusive resort next door. We may (or may not) have tried to spy with the binoculars we brought out. But she wasn’t using her “indoor voice” so I call it a wash. Free booze + crazy lady = our very own beachside telenovela.

We came up with a backstory for this lady. Her name is Yolanda and she was fighting with her boyfriend (side note: how does that screeching woman have a boyfriend & I can barely get a date??!). You’d think the story ends there but we were introduced to another character, Armando (real name).

As we’re sitting on the beach, minding our business, a young man stumbles towards us. Kudos to mom who initially spotted him because I was too busy looking up at the sky. Kudos rescinded because she didn’t warn me he was approaching. Being caught off-guard is an understatement. How does a really high/drunk person approach so stealthily? He speaks to us in Spanish, swaying and ready to fall down. I’m translating some of this because I’m too lazy to write in Spanish and then translate for readers like my bff Vanna. Girl, you’re getting Babbel for Christmas. Jajajaja.

“Hi. I’m Armando.”

“No thanks” we say.

Pause. Long pause.

Laughing nervously. “Hi, I’m Armando.”

Armando swaying, on the verge of falling over. Amy searching for what ever she can use as a weapon (anyone know how to use an iPhone in an attack). Mama Bear getting ready to kick Armando in the nuts.

“¡Lárgate!” Mom says. “Estamos enfermas. Tenemos covid.”

None of this registers with Armando, not even the dreaded “c” word, so we know he’s out of his mind. We also know what people are capable of when not sober. Armando leaves, perhaps to go find Yolanda (maybe they’re soul-mates) and we look around for condo security to make sure we’re helped if Armando found his way back.

El Borracho (The Drunk) headed further along down the beach and we were relieved to see the security guard’s flashlight combing the beach for more Armandos. We feel really safe at the condo complex and always happy to know that they are keeping an eye out on us.

Having learned a new word (lárgate = get the f#%^ out) and not staying for the full lunar-eclipse show, we headed back to the condo for some rest before I started work again on Monday morning. Mom has an alter ego now, we’re calling her Yolanda and if you’re not careful, she’ll pull some street cred and tell you to ¡LÁRGATE!